First, you would need to agree that there are types of people you should never date. This highlights you as someone with measurable standards; who knows where to draw the line. To be in a relationship with someone is to give that person the right to influence you. One thing about influence is that it sometimes does not need your permission before it rubs on you. Either good or bad, your partner’s habits or perks can reflect in yours.
This emphasizes the importance of surrounding yourself with the right type of people – including people you are emotionally attracted to.
One general characteristic to look out for is manipulation and emotional blackmail. Emotional blackmail describes a style of manipulation where someone uses your feelings against you. Your partner can use it either to control your behavior or persuade you to see things their way. As easy as love may seem, not everyone gets it right. Too little of it seems like selfishness, and too much of is termed Obsession. Below are five types of people you should never date.
1. Sex addicts:
Never date people that need you majorly to satisfy their carnal pleasures. They are not interested in other aspects of your life, or even theirs. They fashion the relationship experience to centre on sexual activities. As we mentioned earlier, emotional blackmail is a red flag to look for when choosing a partner. When you refuse their favors, their either make you feel bad for your decision or get violent. By being violent, they can force their way to have what they want. In addition, they can abuse you verbally, physically or both. This is an emotional tactic to exploit you sexually. A relationship built on sex cannot stand the wind. Never date people who want to build fickle relationships with you.
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These people are ready to track your every movement. This is a toxic trait. You should never date someone with trust issues. You can know a stalker by his or her behaviour towards what you do. They want to know where you are going and whom you are going with. If they know the passcode to your phone, they are ready to rummage until they find what they are looking for. Telling them goodnight on WhatsApp is not enough. If they see that you are still online, then you must be having an affair. When they call you and your line is busy, you have some serious explaining to do. What is the essence of a relationship without mutual trust? Save yourself the heartache. Never date someone who cannot take your sincere words and trust you with them.
3. Box tickers:
Box tickers are those people that keep a mental checklist of what they have done for you. If they paid your bus fare, they will tick the box. You owe them one. If they called you yesterday, they will not call you today. This is because according to their list, they have done their part and you have not reciprocated. If on the other hand, you got them something, they may not get something for you too. They will go back to that list and tick that you paid something you owe. You will always have something to pay back. They measure your love by how much you can return their favours.
We do not need to tell you that this is not love. Love does not keep a record of past events. If you do something for someone out of love, then you will not position yourself to receive double of what you gave. Even financial investments do not work this way. Never date such people. Over time, they will drain your emotional bank. You will become frustrated when you cannot understand why they give and regret giving afterwards. When you try to give back and they make you feel like you gave nothing, maybe you would get the memo then. It does not have to get that before you point out this trait in someone you should never date.
4. Substance Addicts:
This covers alcohol, drugs, cigarettes and other harmful substances. You cannot trust a substance abuser to be in his or her right state of mind. They are slaves to something; it is obvious that that thing controls them. You cannot expect to have a normal conversation with someone who is not in touch with his cognitive responses. For the times when they are sober, they are thinking about the reason why the world is against them – you included.
A substance addict has so much to deal with before going into a relationship with someone. Relationship involves being accountable to someone. Abusers are not accountable to themselves; hence, they cannot submit to someone else. The issue of drug abuse lies with the irresponsible use of chemicals. If your partner can inflict pain on himself, why do you think you will be an exception? Never date someone who is hooked on chemical substances.
5. Ambitionless People:
Never date someone who cannot define what he or she wants out of life. They are fine doing little things that bring little or no results. They enjoy going to parties and hanging around people of like minds. When you are around them, it is clear that they do not support your goals. They either discourage you or contribute nothing. They may become irritated or offended if you ask them questions about the plans for their future. It also reflects in the relationship. They cannot explain the plans for the relationship. Everything is cruise to them. They can make you feel bad for taking up serious life steps. People like this are not ready to be in a relationship with you. They will successfully drag you low until you stop dreaming. Never date these types of people.
Love is a memorable experience, and you cannot make memorable experiences alone. Life is too interesting for you to spend with undeserving people. You have a choice when it comes to whom you should never date. Choose wisely. Check out for red flags and deal breakers.
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