The search for true love is a journey. Man has an innate desire to connect socially with people in his space. This journey involves finding oneself first before cleaving to someone else. True love can only be found in the process of finding yourself.
If you are new to this or you are taking a break from your relationship, this is a must-read for you. True love involves honor, commitment, understanding and value acceptance. You attract who you are. It requires trusting someone with your emotions, and ultimately your life.
We all want that special person who will love us unconditionally, see through our imperfections and be willing to stick with us through thick and thin. As whimsical as it sounds, true love does exist. You can find someone who will be there to experience life with you. Read on to find out seven things you should bear in mind before you embark on your love quest.
1. Love Is Beyond Feelings:
As rosy as being in love may sound, every relationship has its trying times. You are both human and no one is infallible. At the start, the butterflies in your belly may keep things interesting but this is not enough to keep the relationship afloat. Love and romance alone cannot sustain a relationship. Romance is necessary, yes, but you need something more than this – Friendship.
Before choosing to enter a love relationship with someone, evaluate. Do you genuinely like this person or you just think you’ll make a lovely couple? What are the qualities they possess that makes you like them? How do you get along when there is no sex and romance involved? What are the things you have in common and the differences that set you apart?
For a friendship to happen, there have to be two people who are genuinely interested in each other and willing to build something together. Note the emphasis on the “willing”. A lot of people waste time and effort trying to find love with an unwilling person, and that will only end in disappointment and hot premium tears.
When your love relationship is rooted in friendship, you will always have something to hold on to when you doubt your feelings.
2. True Love is Commitment:
You need to be an active participant when it comes to effective relationships. Commitment involves putting your time and energy into something. It is like an investment – you put in what you have and watch it grow over time. It involves openness, trust and sacrifices. Commitment is a promise to be loyal to someone or something. It is the state of binding emotionally or intellectually to a course of action or a person. Commitment happens when you pledge or engage in something wholeheartedly.
Sometimes, you may get attention from someone other than the one you love. It is human nature that people are naturally attracted to you. In as much as you are happy that someone else admires you; do not let this diminish how committed you are to your partner and relationship.
3. What You Give Is What You Get:
This is true when your relationship is based on true love. You cannot reap all the benefits of being in love if you hold back. People refrain from giving their all because of past wounds or fear of unreciprocated love. When you demand what you do not have, it is a sign of selfishness and an unwillingness to grow. If you give love freely, it returns to you. Words of affirmation and appreciation are ways to strengthen love bonds.
Saying words like ‘I love you’ and ‘thank you’ reaffirms what you feel for your partner. It assures both parties of what they share. Forgiveness is a gift that you should always give. When your partner offends you, forgive easily. Nobody is above mistakes. Love your partner unconditionally, and you will see how much true love you will receive in return.
4. Stay Positive:
To stay positive, you need to think, talk and do things with a mindset of hope. When you anticipate negative things, they may come to you. Positive thoughts, on the other hand, increase the true love and faith you have in each other. With this, you can build, grow and succeed.
Remember that your thoughts create your reality and with positive thoughts, you solidify the future of your relationship. Avoid unnecessary conclusions on a poorly researched matter. Try not to imagine things and believe them to be true. Adjusting your mindset is a good strategy in shunning negative results. Let your mind focus on an optimistic future for both parties.
5. Define Y“`our Feelings Correctly:
Is it true love or a crush? Are you infatuated? Love and lust do not mean the same thing. Lust is a passionate sexual attraction to another person. In lust, all you see is an imagination-perfect person. This is dangerous because the person is a projection of what we want to see rather than who the person is. True love is less spooky. Love looks at the heart while lust looks at the body.
Love wants someone for who they are – their strengths, perks, fears and flaws. Knowing this, the next step is to ask yourself why you want the relationship. Are you interested in sexual gains or do you want to build something that will last? Crush, lust infatuation – they will all fizzle out with time.
6. Be Who You Want To Attract:
This helps you identify someone that shares similar interests with you. As easy as it sounds, it cannot happen without personal development. You need to build yourself as well. True love is recognizing that you should set a valuable example for others to imbibe when they step into your circle. You should exhibit the values you want to see in a partner. If you are looking for a partner with high emotional intelligence, you should have one first. It takes a high EQ (emotional quotient) to find another person with a high EQ.
While looking out for value, do the things you like. You can sign up for a support group, join a volunteer community or other platforms that add value. With this, there is the probability of meeting someone that shares similar interests with you. True love is strong when both parties easily agree on ideas and beliefs based on their mindsets. Learn how to listen and willingly understand other people’s perspectives. We call it perspective because everyone sees things differently. In the quest for true love, take time off to invest more in yourself.
7. Confidence is Key:
People that feel they are not worthy of true love can end up being attracted to an abuser. A feeling of self-condemnation is a pointer that you need to work on your self-confidence. There is no point in seeking true love when you keep telling yourself you are not worthy of it. Most people worry too much, about how their partner feels about them. There will be doubts and questions in your heart. This will not only ruin every moment of your relationship but will also keep you from connecting with your partner when it matters. You cannot always think logically about everything in your relationship.
Treat your partner with simplicity and understanding. It is unnecessary to find true love when you do not love yourself. Self-love is the first form of true love. Be comfortable with yourself, whether you feel it or not. Know whom you are and what you want to achieve. Be bold to share your plans. To be in love with yourself is an attractive quality to a partner.
With all these points on check, you are on the right path to finding true love.
Which part of this resonated most deeply with you? Kindly drop a comment below.
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