Relationship issues are inevitable. At one point or another, you will face challenges that will cause friction between you and your partner. This can be either big or small. Only a few people know how to act when disputes arise in a relationship. The causes of issues may not be the problem but how you handle it matters.
There are two major ways to handle relationship issues. It is either you react or you respond. To react, you are almost unconscious of your words and actions, or both. You reply to every statement as e dey hot.
Some signs are associated with this. You can either slam the door behind you or shout at your partner. Other signs are the use of abusive language and threats.
The second way to handle relationship issues is to respond, which this piece focuses on. Your response to an issue comprises of logical thinking, analyses and conclusions. Even if you are not happy with the current mood and situation, you have your emotions under control. You are listening to your partner to give constructive criticism. It is easier to give a sincere apology when you respond instead of react. Here are seven ways you can respond to solve relationship issues:
1. Be Realistic:
No relationship is completely problem-free. You need to accept the fact that your relationship is not as perfect as you want it to be. This is not a fairytale novel.
An important step to resolving relationship issues is to realize and accept that you are human. Your partner is human as well, so friction can happen. If you make mistakes and expect that your partner should let go, then you should be ready to do the same. We are all prone to making wrong decisions sometimes.
2. Never Threaten Your Partner:
Have you ever been in a heated conversation before? Of course, we are talking relationship-wise. One of the things you would notice is that everyone wants to prove a point. The point could be at least one of these:
never wrong, you are.
better than you.
the one helping you.
better off without you.
leaving and never returning.
The last four points are threat statements and speaking any of them during an argument can escalate relationship issues. You are trying to settle things and move forward one-step at a time. By uttering any of these statements, you both move fifty steps backwards.
No matter the amount if hurt you feel, decide not to use threatening statements. Do not threaten your partner with a break up. You do not mean it. Most issues of genuine break ups are raised when both partners are calm. If you want things to work, then try to move forward. If you take that route, it will take more time to resolve the issues at hand.
3. Apologize Sincerely:
You may find it hard to apologize because you are hurt, or angry. In addition, you cannot see what you did wrong, so why apologize? You believe that the only person that deserves an apology is you. An emotionally intelligent partner understands that in an intense argument, the feeling of hurt is double-sided. One of the aims of this piece is to make you more emotionally intelligent than you were twenty minutes ago.
Apologies are important regardless of who is at fault. If you keep blaming the other person and pushing faults, more feelings will be hurt in the process. Asides being sorry, state what you are sorry about. This means that you are genuine about your apology. Let your partner know that you mean it. It dissolves relationship issues faster.
4. Give Some Space:
When you give each other some space, you are taking time to cool off. This is a good way to be in touch with your emotions. For agitated arguments where you and your partner burnt some emotional calories, you need this space. When two people are angry and shouting at the top of their voices, relationship issues cannot be resolved. Take some time off. It could be a day or a week; just enough to set you back on track. In all of these, remember to set a time limit. If the space taking should last for three days, say so before you leave. This helps you set the grounds to come back to discuss and settle the issues together.
5. Take A Walk Together:
Sometimes, taking a long walk with your partner can help resolve relationship issues. You may decide to talk while walking or to enjoy the silence. If you choose the latter, it will work too. The silence helps you reflect on what happened and who said what. You can analyze the situation to see what you should have said or done better. Walking also helps you relax and take in fresh air. It is a therapeutic exercise. The walk should be an action that you and your partner agree to, or else it will not yield any results. You both should do this with an end result in mind – to settle differences. If this does not happen, it may just be an unnecessary stroll in awkward quietness.
6. Be Careful With What You Say:
In addition to body language and facial expressions, the words you say are important. Never use words as a weapon to hurt your partner. When you try to make a point, choose your words carefully. People can hear when you insult or belittle them even if you do not directly do it. Remember the impact of words in a person’s mind. Words have power. They can change the mood of a person. Words said out of anger will still hurt. Anger is not an excuse for the words to stay ineffective. Bad words convey feeling. There is a popular saying that people may not remember exactly what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel. Inasmuch as your partner did something to you, you are solely responsible for your responses. Why say something you will regret later?
7. Discuss The Problem:
Communication is an important ingredient for any relationship that seeks to last. You can solve all relationship issues through communication, either spoken or otherwise. Let your partner know the way you feel and what you want changed. When the other party talks, listen genuinely. Let them voice out their hurts, beefs and solutions as well. Remember, the conversations should be constructive. There is no need to prove who was right or wrong. Your relationship is not a court of law. The point is to talk about what you did wrong and how you can adjust to do better next time.
Talking about issues is key to lasting relationships. this is important so that a bubbling relationship does not turn into a situationship. In resolving relationship issues, it is important to be genuine about wanting a solution. This will reflect in the way you handle the issues at hand. The blame game has no winner. There is no need to prove a point. Instead, follow the ways we have talked about, and watch your relationship blossom.
We know you found this article helpful. What points have you tested before? Did it work? Let us know in the comments.